Putting It All Out There - Finding a Balance Between Success and Wealth. My Latest Late Night Ramble.
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Here we go. This took a lot of guts to write and share - but if i'm encouraging others to open up and share their struggles, id be a hypocrite for not doing it myself. So hold on tight, find a comfortable setting, maybe even grab a box of tissues. Its about to get DEEP.
Those who know me are well aware I’m an open book. For all these guys flexing on random social media posts, showing off their cars and their collections of pointless plastic crap… guaranteed you’ll find happier people living in grass huts in some far away village that have no idea who the kardasians are or have internet access. No CNN, No Fox news. Totally unaware that the average person in public public showing kindness is now considered “awkward”. Simply striking up a conversation with a stranger these days will get you a far better chance of getting maced than meeting another kind individual.
The day I became a millionaire was the worst day of my life. It was the start of my mental health spiral. All I could do was worry about losing it all. I bought plenty of dumb shit. Boats, a big house on the water, high end fly fishing gear, etc. None of it made me happy until I made a $5,000 donation to a random kids GoFundMe that was battling cancer. God spoke to me, and over time, and I’ve realized that my money that I was so afraid of losing is just worthless paper I exchange with others for more useless shit. More crap to maintain, more crap to make people aware that I was “successful” in the worlds eyes where success is measured by how much fake plastic crap you own. I’ve fought with myself over the last 4 years about what my purpose really was. It took me a while to realize that It can’t be measured in paper with dead presidents printed on it… here I was contemplating “opting out” because I felt absolutely no purpose. I was a lost soul, just another person living on this spinning ball of dirt, in a universe that we have no idea is beyond it. Suddenly, everyday life was filled with existential dread. Why am I here God? Why do my kids and wife get to enjoy all this material shit, yet I struggled to get out of bed in the morning? Counting the hours until I could drown my confusion and exestential crisis with alcohol and random purchases on Amazon at 3am thinking a new $1000 fly reel would make me happy.
Do not envy the “Rich”. Envy the Wealthy. Envy that dude putting in overtime to buy his kid a new pair of shoes or pay his mortgage. Envy the single moms who have no idea how they are going to keep a roof over their kids heads and still afford Christmas presents. Envy the “poor” in far away countries that haven’t been brainwashed to think that they need the latest pair of Nikes to fit in. Your mental health, a healthy family, a job you love, and genuine friendships are true wealth.
So I sit here tonight in my office, I can hear my daughter laughing upstairs… my son and I’s relationship has never been better. My wife asleep down hall who followed her dream of being a nurse practitioner regardless of our financial situation. My workshop is 20 feet from my back door, the only place I feel purpose in my life. My job sometimes seems mundane - wrapping guides onto a piece of carbon fiber… but it’s the hands that will someday hold my creations in their hands - the joy they will feel when the right fish takes their fly for the first time… and leaves them with memories that are hopefully shared with people they love who love them back.
My advice to you my friends, stop for a moment and think about what really matters. Will your funeral be just a few family members sobbing over your absence, then fighting over their inheritance? Or will it be filled with the countless people whose lives you’ve touched - the people who have been with you through the good and the bad parts of being a human being? The kind of people who will keep your memory alive through stories and memories that shaped their lives? What song will they play when they drop you 6 feet down into the spinning ball of dirt we all share…
Stop. NOW. I beg you. Listen to me, PLEASE. You may be in your early 20’s or your late 80’s. The fact is, you will never know how it ends. Life is a book, a story, and you have no idea when the bulk of pages read are in your favor. Maybe you’re barely holding onto the book of your life, the majority of the pages are under your left thumb… with just a wisp of pages left - and you’re waiting for something beautiful to happen to give your life purpose before the author closes your story.
This is the most damn honest I’ve ever been in my life, and I’m sharing it with the world. Now sit down, take a deep breath and ask yourself - am I really happy? Am I making memories with those i love? or am I simply climbing a ladder to make strangers think I’m successful? Am I putting my energy into things that make my heart full? Am I simply existing day to day, simply to make myself feel a sense of accomplishment? Or maybe you feel like you have no choice - you put your dreams aside to make sure your children have a full belly and the amazing feeling of being loved? I envy YOU. That’s the part I truly miss… the fear of the unknown that makes life difficult, but also drives you to show up every day - because you truly care more about others than yourself. Believe it or not, you have far more power than you think. Just you being here might mean the world to others. They may never know the challenges you faced to give them a fighting chance. Now listen to me… this is the part that makes the difference between you living on in stories and memories vs. just another tombstone. No matter what you do for living, no matter how much money is in your 401k… make sure you take the time, as hard as it may seem, to show those around you that you did it for them, selflessly. Yeah, it’s hard. It’s shitty as hell to struggle… but maybe that’s your story? Maybe that’s your book that you’ve been writing subconsciously since you joined us on this planet.
The fact is, the struggle can be beautiful also. If you’ve read this post this far, you’ve got what it takes to truly be wealthy. The fact is, there isn’t much that separates the wealthy from the person you look at in the mirror every day. We all breathe the same air, even share the same damn toilets. Now the hard part… figuring out how to get there. Look back in that same mirror and ask yourself, are you happy? Like truly happy? If you can even remotely say “yes, but…” then you have already accoplished more than the billions of people who have lived on this earth before us have - and you have what it takes to turn those “but’s” into Ands. “I am happy and…”. That’s more powerful than a fat 401k, a nice house, a nice car - or a collection of pointless crap the rest of society sees as a sign of success.
I’ll leave you with this - as cheesy as the movie was, The Notebook by Nicholas Sparks is a masterpiece. Big Fish also holds a deep place in my heart. I’m a huge fan of quotes. My favorites being:
“I am no one special. Just a common man with common thoughts. I've led a common life. There are no monuments dedicated to me, and my name will soon be forgotten, but in one respect I've succeeded as gloriously as anyone who ever lived. I've loved another with all my heart and soul, and for me that has always been enough.” - The Notebook
“I was thinking about death and all. About seeing how you're gonna die. I mean, on one hand, if dying was all you thought about, it could kind of screw you up. But it could kind of help you, couldn't it? Because you'd know that everything else you can survive.” - Big Fish
“A man tells his stories so many times that he becomes the stories. They live on after him, and in that way he becomes immortal.” - Big Fish
So go on… make mistakes or make good choices. make memories or stay home. Fall in love, or get your heart broken. Just FEEL SOMETHING… and let that guide you to a life that serves others instead of yourself. Don’t worry, you’ll eventually get paid back. That payment may not be measured in currency - but by the lives you’ve touched and the people you loved and helped along the same path we are all walking upon.
If you’ve made it this far, thank you. I truly hope that my words have not only made you think about what’s truly important, but have given you the strength to see yourself in a positive way. And for me, that’s enough. It truly gives my mind peace in thinking I’ve helped another in someway. I will continue to write my damn heart out as long as this brain of mine feels the need to - even if it never reaches another soul. To me, that’s true wealth.
